i thought you'd understand. nvm. u dont. im number1 in ur hate list now. why did i lie. u ask. because i really thought you would feel awkward if i say it out.. i bet u all really thought i was lying again today so "HAVE FUN" . i understood that. and i could see ur surprising faces when u saw me with my sis. "liar liar pants on fire". wondered why i never told u all the truth. because i will get "have fun have fun have fun". d o u really think im having fun. i tell you. im not. i dread recess. because when im with you all. people wont be talking. im a barrier. from all ur conversations. sometimes i really wished there wont be recess so i can stay in class and avoid everything. im not voice-ing out because if i do i know we will be very distant. i know it. it happened to me before. should i say. it happens to me almost everytime. and there was once u all asked what was wrong with me. why am i not talking much. so i replied "yes? is it my problem?" i didnt meant that as an attitude kind of question. what i really mean was. "okay so does the problem lie in me" but i guess u all misunderstood. or is it that my words are often unclear. im not making myself sound pitiful and gaining sympathy and acting like a total saint. do u think i feel good abt lying. i dont. and i didnt know what was going on between us. and i am not showing attitude to any of you. i am not. and times like this. i wished i could live alone. but i cant do without friends. im not a person who is so open that i can just say who im going out with. im sure you know. or rather i think you know. and now my lying has got the better out of me. rest assured i wont do it again.