Just Your Presence And I Second Guess My Sanity,

Saturday, August 27, 2005
4:39 AM

I SO DISLIKE HOW MY PARENTS VERY OFTEN ASSUME STUFFS ABOUT ME. THEY THINK THEY KNOW ME SO WELL BUT THE FACT IS THEY DONT AT ALL. AND THAT SUCKS.

them : why are you always not answering us or giving ur opinion when we ask you something?
me : ................ ( giving the shutup-eat-your-food-and-stop-talking kinda look)
them : you know you're not going to have a future like that, no mind of your own.
me : ( whatever.sits like a kopitiam-uncle to spite them) you dont know me lah you.
parents : and dont sit like that, its ugly.
me : no what. that's how you see me right now right.

ITS NOT FAIR ALRIGHT. THE EFFORT OF TRYING TO KNOW ME BETTER DOESNT SHOW IN YOUR DAILY ACTIONS, MY DEAR PARENTS. AND I RATHER YOU LEAVE ME ALONE RIGHT NOW AND DONT TALK TO ME CAUSE I HATE TALKING TO YOU ALL. AND ITS TRULY VERY DISAPPOINTING HOW YOURE PARENTS LOOK DOWN ON YOU AND DONT GIVE YOU MORAL SUPPORT. YOU KNOW ITS LIKE ASKING YOU TO 'DONT TRY YOUR FUTURE, JUST GO DIE STRAIGHT AWAY' KINDA FEELING. STUPIDITY. I FEEL LIKE SOME KIND OF RETARDED OBJECT ON THIS EARTH JUST FOR THE SAKE OF LIVING. HOME REALLY DONT FEEL LIKE HOME ANYMORE. THE ONLY REASON WHY I GO HOM EVERYDAY IS TO EAT AND PLAY THE COMP AND SEE MY BABY SISTER AND SOMETIMES TALK TO SHARON. BUT I DONT LOOK FORWARD TO GOING HOME AND SHOUT 'MUM IM HOME' NO I SERIOUSLY DONT. THE ONLY REASON WHY I PROBABLY TALK TO THEM IS ABOUT MY ALLOWANCE AND TO SIGN SOME SCHOOL STUFFS. AND I DONT HEAR THE TRY HARDER'S FROM THEIR MOUTHS WHEN THEY SEE MY JUST PASSED PAPERS. THEY JUST ASK ME TO GO AWAY AND DON LET THEM SIGN THOSE KIND OF PAPERS. AND THEN, WHEN I GET HIGH MARKS THEY WONT SAY WELL-DONE. THEY SAY 'YOU CAN DO BETTER'. HELLO. PARENTS? SURE.. ALL PARENTS WANT THE BEST FOR THEIR KIDS BUT NOT IN THAT KIND OF WAY PLEASE. AND ITS VERY IRRITATING HOW THEY ALWAYS DOTE ON THE ELDEST AND YOUNGEST IN THE FAMILY.MY SISTER FOR INSTANCE,CAME HOME LATE TODAY AND SHE CALLED SO THEY SAY "AT LEAST UR SISTER HAVE THE RESPONSIBILTY TO CALL BACK AND TELL US UNLIKE YOU. NO RESPONSIBILITY AT ALL." WTF I DID OKAY ITS JUST THAT YOU DONT BOTHER. AND THEN I COME HOME TO GET A SCOLDING. GRRR. MY SISTER GETS TO DO ANYTHING SHE WANTS. SHE GETS SUPER LOTS OF ALLOWANCE SOMETIMES 50 A FEW DAYS IN THE WEEK BUT HELLO I DONT. ITS NOT LIKE IM USING FOR SOME KIND OF SHIT STUFF BUT 5BUCKS A DAY ON 2 MEALS? AND YOU EXPECT ME TO GROW FAT? TAKE YOUR BRAINS OUT PLEASEEE. AND THAT SHOWS OBVIOUS FAVOURTISM. VERY OBVIOUS FAVOURTISM. AND IM REALLY VERY UPSET JUST THAT I DONT SHOW IT. FUCK.

MY LIFE IN SOME KIND OF SHIT FAMILY. TSK

;Desperation